Life has a funny way of changing things before you have a chance to figure out what to do. It can be from the very smallest of things to very huge things. And you never know which it’s going to be. It just kind of smacks you in the face with out any warning.

On August 17th 2019, I lost my husband. How, I’m not ready to share with the world as to how. That’s for those that are family and very close friends to know. All you need to know is that he passed. Leaving behind his family and friends that miss him dearly.

Now, this isn’t about his death. Because lets be honest, dealing with a passing of a loved one SUCKS! But, now that I am a single mom, I find a struggle in just trying to make it for my son and I.

In the past few weeks I’ve been struggling as a single parent. I got used to having the extra help. Got used to being able to not worry about how I’m going to afford things for my child. Got used to not being alone. Once the ground was taken out from underneath me, I fell hard and not knowing what to do for the first few days kick my butt.

After the first a national shock had somewhat passed, I had to find help through the state, through his work, and through social security (SS). Now his work has been amazing in helping out. It’s just a LOT of paperwork. More then I would ever want to do in a life time. But it was worth it. SS is a wait. Which is hard, but the out come in the end is going to be worth it.

Now, I’ve never needed any type of help from the state before. Maybe in my youth, I had state medical, but that was it. That’s all that I needed from them at that time in my life. So this time around, thinking about my son, I needed their help. Well…….. with out going into to much detail, lets just say I had to jump through several hoops just to get help. It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I’m thinking about my son here.

Now, has I hand over the keys to our apartment we had together as a family, I was more sad and upset then I was when we left the first time 3 years ago to a town house. It was to hard to say good bye to something that felt like home for the last year. I really wish I could of kept the apartment, but there is no way for us to live there. I would be broke and have nothing for my son. So now I’m on the hunt to find a place for us. Hopefully we’ll have one here soon. ( Just playing the waiting game, hoping to hear back sooner then later.)

In the mean time, my son and I are hanging out with family who are helping us out. Until we find a place to call our own again.

If there is one thing that I’m very, very grateful for. It’s all those that are willing to help. I am not one to ask for help. I’m not. I am one of those that rather do things on my own. So when a village comes to the aid of some one in need, it is very over whelming at times, but it is also a relief too. And I couldn’t have asked for a better village then one I have. You guys are the best. And thank you all that you have done or are doing to just help. Even if it’s just talk, I love it and it’s what I need. So THANK YOU.

For now, I leave you with a picture of our empty apartment. It was once filled with things that brought joy and laughter. It’s now in boxes waiting for the next story to tell.