It's a perfect day to capture memories

A New Chapter.. Starting with a Lock Down?

04.22.20

Holy freakin cow people!! How are you all doing?

Like really how are you all doing? When I started this new chapter in my life, I wasn’t think that most of it will be on a mandatory lock down.

My days are blended together and the weeks just seem to never end.

(What day, month, year is it again?)

Before the lock down had happen, we had traveled to Vegas with my best friend Jessica. My mother lives in Vegas and it was a prefect opportunity to visit and have fun.

And boy did we have fun.

I had planed this trip after we got into our new apartment. And was working almost nonstop during the holidays season.

(Boy do I miss work right now!!)

I’m very thankful that we were able to take it. And he got to spend time with his grandmother. Was the best little mini vacation we took.

Now that we’ve been back, it’s been so odd not being able to see people and have play dates with other kiddos/parents.

Social Distancing is some what hard for me cause I like to interact with people in person. But for my son not so much. He doesn’t quiet understand. He just knows that people can get sick if we visit them.

Hopefully this lock down will end sooner then later. Not just for us, but for every one else that is out there.

In the mean time, I will be doing my best to teach my son things that will help him later in life.

Hopefully I wont come out of this with gray hair!!

Eli playing with his monster trucks. Vegas March 5th-9th 2020

A New Story to Tell

09.12.19

Life has a funny way of changing things before you have a chance to figure out what to do. It can be from the very smallest of things to very huge things. And you never know which it’s going to be. It just kind of smacks you in the face with out any warning.

On August 17th 2019, I lost my husband. How, I’m not ready to share with the world as to how. That’s for those that are family and very close friends to know. All you need to know is that he passed. Leaving behind his family and friends that miss him dearly.

Now, this isn’t about his death. Because lets be honest, dealing with a passing of a loved one SUCKS! But, now that I am a single mom, I find a struggle in just trying to make it for my son and I.

In the past few weeks I’ve been struggling as a single parent. I got used to having the extra help. Got used to being able to not worry about how I’m going to afford things for my child. Got used to not being alone. Once the ground was taken out from underneath me, I fell hard and not knowing what to do for the first few days kick my butt.

After the first a national shock had somewhat passed, I had to find help through the state, through his work, and through social security (SS). Now his work has been amazing in helping out. It’s just a LOT of paperwork. More then I would ever want to do in a life time. But it was worth it. SS is a wait. Which is hard, but the out come in the end is going to be worth it.

Now, I’ve never needed any type of help from the state before. Maybe in my youth, I had state medical, but that was it. That’s all that I needed from them at that time in my life. So this time around, thinking about my son, I needed their help. Well…….. with out going into to much detail, lets just say I had to jump through several hoops just to get help. It wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I’m thinking about my son here.

Now, has I hand over the keys to our apartment we had together as a family, I was more sad and upset then I was when we left the first time 3 years ago to a town house. It was to hard to say good bye to something that felt like home for the last year. I really wish I could of kept the apartment, but there is no way for us to live there. I would be broke and have nothing for my son. So now I’m on the hunt to find a place for us. Hopefully we’ll have one here soon. ( Just playing the waiting game, hoping to hear back sooner then later.)

In the mean time, my son and I are hanging out with family who are helping us out. Until we find a place to call our own again.

If there is one thing that I’m very, very grateful for. It’s all those that are willing to help. I am not one to ask for help. I’m not. I am one of those that rather do things on my own. So when a village comes to the aid of some one in need, it is very over whelming at times, but it is also a relief too. And I couldn’t have asked for a better village then one I have. You guys are the best. And thank you all that you have done or are doing to just help. Even if it’s just talk, I love it and it’s what I need. So THANK YOU.

For now, I leave you with a picture of our empty apartment. It was once filled with things that brought joy and laughter. It’s now in boxes waiting for the next story to tell.

Maternity Shoots

02.13.19

I really, really don’t advertise for maternity sessions. It’s something that I don’t focus on. But, when I do get a chance to do them, I love them. It’s a time in a women life were her body is going through so many changes. Some of us have it easy, while some of us have it hard.

But some where down line, we have the photos to look at. To remind us of how amazing our bodies can be. And how beautiful we look.

(Even if it’s just for one day. )

I’m very honored to have photograph both these women last year during a time in their life were things were crazy, exciting, and even brand new for one.

I hope your little ones are filling your hearts with joy that only a mother could understand.

Brittney and her hubby. First time parents.

Eli Danger

09.18.18

Oh my!! Time has slipped by me. My little boy is three!!

So for his birthday, I deiced I should do a blog about him coming into this world. Not many people know or knew why he was in the NICU. And why he was 5 weeks early.

I’m also hopping that this will help some other parents out there that is going through what we went through for our son.

And just letting them know that things will be ok.

And that god is on your side.

Side note, there may or may not be some graphic details.

Just a for warning.

So about three years ago, I remember going to bed with the worst pain ever the night before the 18^th of September. Mind you, this is my first child I had no clue that I was having contractions. So I took some Tylenol and fell asleep. Yes I fell asleep.

The morning of the 18^th I woke up and the pain was not as bad. It was very manageable. My husband was headed off to the gym for an hour, so I went back to sleep for that hour.

When he got home, he woke me up and said “hey, I’m taking Sadie for a walk. You should hop in the shower”. I said ok.

As I heard him shutting the door to our apartment, I got up. Went to the bathroom. And started our shower. I never made it to the shower.

As I was taking off my pants, tons of blood came out. More then I would of liked to see.

I went into a slit panic attack because my son wasn’t due for another FIVE WEEKS.

(for those try to count it ,would be October 23rd)

I yelled for my husband, but he was to far away from the building.

Some how, I got up went and grabbed my phone and called him.

I told him it was time and we needed to go to the hospital now. He said “really? Now?”

He was in shock like I was.

Thankfully, he only made it to the mail boxes with our dog before he had to turn around back to the apartment.

So, he proceeds to lock our dog in her kennel. He then throws the car seat and our over night bag into our car.

Now I don’t know about you all, but I don’t like being talk to when I’m in pain. Even though he was being supportive and saying positive things to me on the drive to doctors, I just told him to shut up. I was more focused on my breathing and staying calm.

We get there to check in and the first thing I get asked was

“did you call a head of time?”

Really. I didn’t have to think about calling here people. I’m in shock and my child’s life is at risk.

So after a few other questions I get checked in.

Even at one point while the nurse was waiting for them to put on my medical bracelets on, I glared at another mother who was asking when she was being taking back to be induced.

Like, wait your turn lady. Can’t you see I’m about to give birth here!!

Finally when I got back to the triage area, more blood had came out and they were having a hard time finding how far along I was.

At one point it was at a 1. At another point it was a 5. Finally, the on call doctor came in. She checked me and said I was at a 9 and I need to be taken back to labor and delivery.

Now, my birth plan was to do this all natural with no epidural or anything.

When I was being moved, I couldn’t walk from the bed to the wheel chair. My legs felt like I had just ran a 3.2 mile. Shaky, jello-y, and sore.

They gave me some meds to help so I could make it those few feet and off to the room we went.

When we got there I got the epidural. And from there they broke my water. Which they then found out I was at four and went to a five seconds after it broke.

I believe at this time it was around 10 or 11 am. From there on out, it was nothing but labor and having the baby work his way down.

Family was called and they came for support.

6:06 pm came.

I gave two, maybe three big pushes.

And he was here.

Has they took him over to the heat lamp, I think that’s what it was, I saw the NICU team rush in. Eli didn’t cry right away. They had to clear his lungs out. Once he cried, I cried. I was beyond happy that he was alright.

I got to hold him. And see him. Got to kiss his little head.

And I got some snuggles before they whisked him off to the NICU.

Now while Eli was being taken care of, the nurses were worried about me.

My heart was still racing. And I had lost even more blood when birthing my son.

They wanted me to sit down, but I couldn’t. I was up walking around a little bit.

They gave me a beta blocker for my heart. And I tried to eat something but I couldn’t. I wanted to see my little man.

So as the night went on, people came and saw him. My sister in law even took pictures of him and us.

While he was in the NICU, I got to hold him and I just let it all sink in that he is here.

The next day, he was able to be with me for the rest of our stay there. That made me even more happier.

My son was the tiniest thing I’ve ever seen. He looked like a doll!!

As the day was ending we were being move to a room in the NICU area. I was discharged, but my son was not. He needed to keep his heat levels up and they had to do the car seat test cause of small was.

On Sunday the 20^th of September, we got to take him home. He passed his car seat test!!

On the way home, my husband and my sister in law stop off at Babies R Us. There were so many things that we still need and had to get.

As they went in, I waited in the car with our son and just watch him sleep.

When we got home, we slowly introduced our dog to him. She loved on him.

We were home for a good two days before we had to go back to the hospital.

On Tuesday, September 22^nd we went back to see if was gaining any weight.

Come to find out, our son had lost weight. His temperature wasn’t holding and his bilirubin was a little high.

So back to the NICU we went.

It was a battle while we were in there.

One doctor would tell us one thing. Then another would say something else.

Watching my son struggle was not how I wanted to start this journey of parenthood.

Once his bilirubin was stabled, it was his temperature that was problem.

He wasn’t at a 97.7. He was at a 95 or 96.

It frustrated me to no end. I’m doing very thing in my power to make sure he is healthy. I was doing skin to skin. Mixing in some supplements in my milk for him to gain weight. But his temperature was what was keeping him there.

So a week goes by and we just want to be home with our son.

My husband got into it with one of the doctors and said what does it have to take to get him out of here? And like all the others have said, he needs to hold his temperature.

So finally, my husband and a doctor made deal.

If our son can hold his temperature for 12 hours outside of the incubator, the doctors would let us take him home.

To a normal person, 12 hours is nothing.

But to a mom that wants nothing but her son to be home with his family, it’s everything.

Every three hours they came and checked. And it was all positive.

At the 12 hour mark, after his feeding, she checked him and he was cleared to go home!!

It was 3am and we couldn’t be any happier.

Unfortunately we had wait till 7 am cause that’s when the doctor did the rounds. And that’s also when we were able to get released as well.

Once we finally came home, I was relived to know my son will be ok. He’s a fighter. This was just the first of many trips to the hospital and over night stays we’ve encountered.

And so far, each time, he’s come out on top. Doing better then I could ever imagine.

I know he’s only three, but to me it feels like I just had this little baby.

And now he’s a toddler that’s ready to take on the world.

About 6 weeks after he was born, I went in for my check up. (It may have been longer) to see how everything was.

I asked my doctor as to why he was born early. Because I wasn’t stressed. And I didn’t have preeclampsia. So what was it?

Come to find out, I had placental abruption . Basically, the placenta separated from the uterine lining and sent me into early labor.

Can it happen again? Maybe.

But that’s here nor there.

So as of right now, I’m enjoying all the good and craziness my son is throwing my way.

Photo credit goes to my sister in law Kristy and to Picture people. The last photo was taken by me for his third birthday.